A STAR-SPANGLED STORY

A STAR-SPANGLED STORY

Picture it. It was 1870 and dressed tightly in your snatched hair and corset or black bowtie and suspenders you worked diligently for the federal government in some capacity be it mail carrier or office representative. You find out that on the day you celebrate the Declaration of Independence, July 4, you’re not getting paid for working! This truly sucks, although, I’m not sure if you would have used that term back then. Shade comes in many forms, even centuries ago. Move ahead a few years to 1938 (thanks for the 411, Google!) Someone realized what was right and just, and the Fourth of July became a paid federal holiday and has remained that way today. Even some non-essential federal offices close, as well.

Flash forward to the present and the deciding of what you’re doing on this 4th in 2011. Got big plans to strut your sexy stuff in your new Speedo at that cookout or pool party? Laying low in your own backyard to save a few coins?! Plan on catching the fireworks somewhere?! All are great ideas but remember that possessing fireworks is illegal in Palm Springs. All along the city encourages you to instead come see the firework celebration in conjunction with the Palm Springs Power baseball game. Hmm. I suppose that if something goes awry it will be centrally located and easier to contain. Sexy firemen wouldn’t have to run about in such ways containing flames. However, Cathedral City is one of the few cities that do sell them and allow use of them so still our dogs will be going crazy at the banging and explosions after dark. Joy.

In a very peculiar order, I graciously compiled the “Top 10” 4th of July Moments to have this Independence Day making it the best one ever, or at least until next year. Decide which color of red, white or blue you wear best and own it! If you can pull off those American flag boxer shorts and sailor hat with flag bandana, go for it! That’s hot. Not. Whatever you do and wherever you go make it safe, be sane and have fun.

A Very Special Independence Day

The Aids Assistance Program is holding a fundraiser at the Southridge estate previously owned by William Holden. Tickets are $100 going to a great cause that provides support for lower-income making men, women and children living with HIV/AIDS in the greater Palm Springs area. The event starts at 7:30 with plentiful hors d’oeuvres and desserts leading right up to the Palm Springs firework exhibition starting at 9:15. There will be valet and tickets can be purchased through their website aidsassistance.org.

Pool Parties and Barbeques

Whether you’re on the list of lists or intend on crashing in for the free grub and oily rubs, the nearby pool party is where you should be. Advice from someone in the know, a fashionable friend encourages a well-fitting Speedo underneath a pair of sexy board shorts can comfortably and fashionably offer the best option for any summer party. If you have an invite, offer to bring something or just do. If you don’t have an invite, most definitely bring your charm and smile. No one like a sour puss. For the hosts, if you’re not feeling like doing the work let the popular GrillMarks (grillmarkscatering.com) do it for you. They set up, do their thing and break it down while you casually mingle with your precious guests. Sounds like a plan?!

Making Waves at the Beach

Not feeling that tan line?! Oh, an exhibitionist are you?! Well, Black’s Beach in San Diego or San Onofre in San Clemente next to the Marine base at Camp Pendleton is where you want to go if nudity is important to you. It’s not for queens in high heels that stick in the sand since the trek is steep and long. Plan accordingly since there is nothing along the lines of water, food or facilities. Take an extra gallon of water to rinse off by the car since the drive home could be pure coarse from dried salt water and sand. For some plush and lush head to Laguna Beach or Newport Beach with the addition of shopping options and dining desires. Nonetheless, grab the sunscreen and stand pretty.

Liquid Dreams and Boy America

Want head into Hollywood and get away?! Comedian Bruce Villanch hosts Liquid Dreams, a pool party benefiting Life Group L.A. and Tijuana AIDS Hospice. DJ Ray Rhodes pumps up the jam while shirtless boys prance about to Britney and Gaga behind designer sunglasses and skimpy fabric. Information and tickets can be found at liquiddreams.org. A true circuit scene is happening the evening before at supperclub in L.A. called Boy America where the guys will no doubt still be wearing their sunglasses from earlier in the day. Just saying. Remixologist of everyone fierce and Grammy nominated DJ Dave Audé will be spinning and DJ Ray Rhodes will be working overtime again spinning here, as well. This is a Jeffrey Sanker infused production so expect Adam Killian and go-go brothers in something theatrical and spandex with muscular fists pounding into air.

Being Idle in the Wild

Idyllwild presents the opportunity of cooler weather, the simple life and a nice scenic drive for the day. I-10 west takes you there and make sure your car is gassed up with air in tires and fluids in the tranny! Transmission, silly. Take the dogs and let them sniff around. If you really want some exercise head up one of the hiking trails but take water and don’t dehydrate. There’s a dozen or so dining options so do some homework and see what’s available beforehand or just wing it. Yum, wings.

Creating Conversation

With due credit to Sunset magazine (sunset.com/parties) I grabbed these fun and fresh ideas of sparking and splashing up your own unique Independence Day celebration. Pour watermelon from a pitcher, obviously puréed first. Try grilled strawberry shortcake kebabs with jam and whipped cream (that looked delicious in the pictures.) Offer something original and smart for your guests to talk about after they’ve left! Be creative and brilliant. Make the effort. Make it memorable.

Macy’s Fireworks on TV

Every year NBC televises New York City’s firework extravaganza presented by Macy’s and is hosted this year by Nick Lachey. Performers Brad Paisley and Beyoncé will be headlining the event and if you’re going to miss it, set your DVR so you can fast-forward through the lulls later and repeated product endorsing commercials. “I love fireworks. They’re loud.” (Amy Sedaris as “Jerri Blank” in Strangers with Candy.)

Happily Working Another Day

Many of us have jobs, yes. Well… Not everyone but that’s another story all together. I’ll be working at World Gym where fitness takes no holiday and other people I know will also be experiencing their employment on the Fourth. We’re happy to have jobs and to a good many it’s just another day. No big deal. Slap a burger or steak on the grill later on and call it the gay way!

Palm Springs Annual Bang

The Palm Springs Power baseball team plays the Bay Cal Yankees starting at 6:05 with the firework exhibition’s general admission beginning at 8 and the exploding skies opening up at 9:15. The game requires a purchased ticket whereas the city-sponsored fireworks do not. It’s free to the public and best thing to do is park at a friends and walk over or connect with ones who live above it all and watch comfortably without the stadium chaos.

Doing it on the Down-Low

Let’s face it. It’s not always about other people. Sometimes it’s best being with the ones you love and feel are in your intimate circle without the show of who looks hot and who feels not. It’s less hassle and more fun making it not so much of a production than most and simply doing your thing quietly. No muss. No fuss. No trying to get rid of that last party guest. Privacy is bliss. Try it. You may like it. We sure do.

Happy 4th Palm Springs!

2011 © The Bottom Line